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Are toxic relationships making you sick?

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  • Feel better about yourself after spending time together
    • Feel emotionally and physically safe
    • Equal “give and take”
    • Both feel happy with who you are
    • Compassion, freedom of thinking sharing
    • Mutual love and caring

    Toxic or unhealthy relationships

    Do you…

    • Often feel unfulfilled and drained
    • Feel worse about yourself after spending time together
    • Feel threatened or in danger
    • You’re always giving he/she is taking
    • Feel you have to change for him/her
    • Selfishness, demandingness, criticism
    • Dishonesty, distrust, demeaning words

    Rank your companionship

    If you’re like me, the most valuable source of happiness you can have in life is through your relationships. The amazing feeling of connection to someone who reciprocates your affection definitely enhances everything else you do in life. When successfully nurtured, it should give you energy, motivation and promote physical health.

    I invite you right now to think about your key and most intimate companionship. Reflect on different experiences you have had together, such as preparing meals, taking walks, sharing about your day, or enjoyable evenings, bedtime and awakening moments together. Now rank from one to ten how this relationship feels to you, where 1 = terrible, and 10 = blissful. If you ranked it 7 or below, then it deserves some real attention.

    The law of attraction in relationships

    How are you feeling now about your companion? The fact is, with proper education, any couple can be very happy together as long as they share enough of the same goals.

    Let’s explore this further…

    First, you must be accountable for your contribution to this relationship. Take a look at your own mood each moment in every day. Do you carry feelings of fear, worry, frustration, boredom or depressed mood into the relationship in any way? If so, then you will experience more of this by your companion unless he or she is an extremely evolved person.

    Next, are you focusing on what you like about your companion, while dismissing and giving no attention to what you don’t like? The law of attraction is the fact that “you get what you think about whether you like it or not.” In other words, the more attention and thought you give to what you don’t like, the more you are causing what you don’t like to show up in your relationship.

    Pretend that your companion and you are the only two people in the world. Now imagine that you feel unhappy in your relationship. Can you make this relationship work? The answer is yes, if you will focus only on the desirable characteristics of your companion. Gradually, you will be more and more attracted to him or her. Then the only way this relationship can fail is if your companion continues to resist your positive attention.

    The right way is the wrong way

    It is commonly thought that for a relationship to work well, both must agree on and do things the same way, or each must do things the “right” way, in order for you to be happy together. This flawed premise only leads to arguments and hurt feelings.

    On the contrary, a wise couple recognizes the value of diversity, and the importance of allowing the other the freedom to experience and learn.  Instead of arguing about which is the right way and which is the wrong way…and creating negative emotions about it, wouldn’t it be more enjoyable to welcome the diversity you see in each other?

    Therefore, do not verbally reprimand the other or try to control them in any way. Instead, use words and actions that create feelings of appreciation, attraction, and love between you. Invite the other person think their own way and discover what is best for them and for your companionship connection. Learn to enjoy the differences in your opinions, methods of living life, and even beliefs.  By honoring each other’s thoughts and choices, you’ll create freedom and peace for each of you. Then you’ll then enjoy your differences. You will grow together in love.  Then you can feel gratitude every day.

    To making your companionship the best ever, and feeling good—together.

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